Dylan and Tindall
I knew from the start that I wanted to do pre-marital counselling but not just average counselling, I wanted my fiance and I to have the best tools to take on our upcoming marriage. Having parents that divorced and not wanting to follow in their footsteps this was not a matter I was going to take lightly. My fiance was not keen at first, and neither of us are on full medical aid so we had to pay cash. I told my fiance I will pay the full amount but if he finds it his worthwhile he will refund me half. I had no doubt after doing my research on Dr Swart that the money would be well spent AND refunded from my fiance! I cannot compare our relationship now and a few short weeks before. Of course we knew there was something special between us and we made each other very happy hence why we are getting married, but like every couple we have little ‘niggles’ which lead into huge arguments for no reason. Dylan and I communicate very easily and openly about everything (so we thought) but the questions that got asked during homework exercises and in the sessions lead to topics that needed to be discussed which one might not have considered before, but play an integral part in the dynamics of our relationship. Looking back we definitly didn’t have the tools to deal with everyday issues and knowing how to truly fulfill each other. Amongst many other things Dylan learnt how important it is to make positive deposits for me on a daily basis, how important helping out with dishes once in a while actually is for me, I learnt that I wasn’t “always right”, I needed to learn not to be to rigid and I realized how lucky I was to get married to Dylan as he was so enthusiastic, putting words said during sessions into action, even though initially he was not very keen on this whole pre-marital counselling exercise. Past experiences were linked with present behaviours which allowed us to understand why we may react the way we do in certain scenarios. Things which could very well cause a lot of conflict and hurt in the future were addressed, made aware to us and are now being worked on. We realized what a huge step being married actually is and how much work we have cut out for ourselves but at the same time we are confident as we have the basic “know how” to nurture our relationship. We are in actual fact so positive with regards to how our relationship has evolved we want to return every 2-3 years for a refresher to keep the wheel turning and just becoming better and better for each other as our married life continues!
There is no manual out there to a successful marriage, it is not an exact science as we are all such complex beings with so many different environmental factors that come into play. When two people unite together in marriage with different familial backgrounds, different views, different personalities, different past experiences, different inert behaviours it can be quite a challenge to find common ground. With Dr Swart you find solutions that works for you as a couple, you understand why your partner reacts and behaves like they do and you learn the value and meaning of a true partnership!
Dylan and I will definitly see you again in the future!
Ek is baie dankbaar oor al die goeie “tools” wat ons ontvang het deur die sessies. Veral die sessies oor emosionele behoeftes en konflik was baie hulpvol. Niks sou my keuse van trou verander het nie, maar na die kursus voel ek sterker daaroor as ooit. Baie dankie vir al die hulp. Ek reken jy sal nooit mekaar regtig 100% ken en vertrou as jy nie bereid is om hierdie kursus te voltooi nie. Dit is op die man af en besprreek al die belangrikste kwessies.
Ek dink regtig dat die voorhuwelikse kursus ongelooflik waardevol en belangrik is om te doen. Dit fokus op alle belangrike aspekte van ‘n verhouding. Nie net het dit gehelp date k en Pierre mekaar beter verstaan nie, maar ook om myself beter te kan verstaan in terme van my eie emosionele behoeftes, ens. Die sessie oor emosionele behoeftes was veral insiggewend en baie waardevol. Ek hou daarvan dat die sessie ook nie weggeskram het van moeilike onderwerpe nie maar eerder in diepte daarop gefokus het en ons die tools gegee het om dit aan te spreek, bv. godsdiens, familie-kwessies, konflikhantering, ens. Ek en Pierre het ongelooflik baie geleer en die sessies het werklik gehelp om ons verhouding nog ryker te maak. Baie baie dankie.
Baie dankie vir die klasse sover, dit maak regtig ‘n groot verskil vir ons altwee. Weet eintlik regtig nie hoe ‘n mens kans sien om te trou as jy nog nie deur so ‘n kursus is nie!